#anyway i'd like to highlight all the good quotes

[fictionadventurer]

Supposing that a lyric poet of the new school really had to deal with such an idea as that expressed in Pope's line about Man:

"A being darkly wise and rudely great,"

Is it really so certain that he would go deeper into the matter than that old antithetical jingle goes? I venture to doubt whether he would really be any wiser or weirder or more imaginative or more profound. The one thing that he would really be, would be longer. Instead of writing,

"A being darkly wise and rudely great,"

the contemporary poet, in his elaborately ornamented book of verses, would produce something like the following:

"A creature

Of feature

More dark, more dark, more dark than skies,

Yea, darkly wise, yea, darkly wise:

Darkly wise as a formless fate.

And if he be great,

If he be great, then rudely great,

Rudely great as a plough that plies,

And darkly wise, and darkly wise."

Have we really learnt to think more broadly? Or have we only learnt to spread our thoughts thinner?

-G.K. Chesterton, Varied Types

[yourfavoritehouseplant]

I watched James Somerton's final video, and all I got was this 6 page document

As soon as I learned his final unreleased video was on Revolutionary Girl Utena, I knew I had to hate watch it. I didn't know that I'd spend the following 4 hours making a comprehensive doc on everything I hated about it. But here we are.

The TLDR (is this too long to be a TLDR?)

The intro section, as well as Part 2, are directly plagiarized from wikipedia. The rest is unclear.

He makes a “haha this show is so weird right guys” joke 10 different times

He reads Anthy as so emotionally stunted she literally has to be taught how to think for herself, and believes that being the rose bride makes her feel good

He says that his reading is ‘vastly different” from the rest of the community, before boldly stating that this is because he sees it as a “deeply allegorical and symbolic story”

He sees the sexual abuse as “not to be taken literally”

Insists that the show be separated into parts that are strictly literal and strictly allegorical for the entirety of parts 3 and 4, before making the contradictory move of analyzing characters as allegories during part 5

The only characters that get dedicated sections are Akio and Dios, who he doesn’t believe are the same person. 

He says Dios gets his powers by “deflowering women”

He calls Akio, known child predator, a chaotic bisexual

Uses 14 year old SA survivor Anthy’s passive personality to make a joke about her being a bottom

His final point is that Utena was the real prince all along

There are no citations

Anyway, full version for people who hate themselves under the cut. With time codes, because I cite my sources.

Part 1: Intro

This entire section is almost exclusively quoted from the Wikipedia article for Revolutionary Girl Utena. Words have been changed, but the order at which certain topics come up is not. Highlights include:

0:56 In his introduction of Be-Papas, lists the founding members in literally the exact same order as Wikipedia.

1:40-2:00 His list of Be-Papas previous works is lifted entirely from wikipedia, only with the words changed. This leads to a strange moment at 1:52 where he claims Be-papas ‘lent their talents to’ Neon Genesis Evangelion, a show which started production at least a year before Be-papas was founded. On the wikipedia article for Utena, this is instead referring to the previous work of Shinya Hasegawa and Yōji Enokido

4:23 he uses a quote by Yūichirō Oguro describing the production as a “tug of war”. He seems to have lifted this in its entirety from Wikipedia, as he does not cite the actual source it is from (the box set companion book, btw)

As for James Somerton originals, at 0:44 he claims that out of all magical girl series,”none to my knowledge have been more discussed and dissected than the 1997 series Revolutionary Girl Utena” He will go back on this at 5:05, where he states that “Sailor Moon takes the lion’s share of discussion” in regard to influential magical girl anime

Part 2: Part 1

(At least I know I’m not funny, unlike James Somerton)

Speaking of which. Here is every single time he makes a “wow this show is sooooo weird you guys” joke: 6:00, 8:50, 10:40, 10:58, 13:46, 17:07, 24:16, 30:34, 41:19, 48:01

Here’s every time the punchline to the joke is the existence of Nanami, a character who he otherwise completely disregards: 10:56, 12:05, 16:22, 42:40

6:16 Claims that the “Apocalypse saga” and “Akio Ohtori saga’ are two names for the same several episodes, depending on the release. This is untrue. Instead, different releases either only have the Apocalypse saga, or split the episodes into an Akio Ohtori saga and then the Apocalypse saga. 

7:58 Claims Utena intervening on Anthy’s behalf begins the first duel. While this happens in the movie, Touga intervenes in the scene he uses clips from (like literally right after the shot he uses in the video). Utena only gets drawn into the duels when Wakaba’s love note to Saionji is posted. Youtuber Noralities’ Utena video also gets this wrong, which makes me wonder if this was copied.

9:09 Claims Akio’s “End of the World” moniker is actually more closely translated to “Apocalypse”. In reality, the translation moves away from a more apocalyptic reading, with 世界の果て (Sekai no hate) apparently translating closer to “the furthest reach of a known world” or “edge of the world”. (Love the implications of this translation, but I digress)

9:10 As can be assumed from the previous point, this means I can’t find any sources that point to them not using the title “apocalypse” for religious reasons

10:10 Uses Anthy’s extreme passivity under her Rose bride persona to make a top/bottom joke. I’m gonna repeat this in case you’re just skimming. He uses a trait that likely stems from years of abuse, (possibly exaggerated by the persona Anthy uses to manipulate people), and uses it to call her a bottom. 

He also just doesn’t seem to understand how the whole point of Utena constantly telling Anthy that she's just a normal girl who should make more friends is framed as Utena imposing her will on Anthy, just as much as the previous Engaged have done. 

11:54 Apologies in advance for my most “um, actually!” point yet, but technically his statement that Anthy stops being host to the Sword of Dios is wrong. Akio literally pulls a sword out of her chest in the final duel. It's a more evil-looking sword of Dios, granted.

13:02 !!! CANTARELLA SCENE ALERT !!! He interprets it as them fighting over Akio?? Which like. I will allow people to have their own interpretations of vague and symbolic scenes. I will. I swear. This is not technically incorrect. It just makes me want to eat my own intestines.

14:44 Bad Anthy take #1: He states Anthy “is emotionally stunted to the point where she needs people to make decisions for her because she does not know how to think for herself” This ignores several moments of Anthy clearly making her own choices throughout the show, including the suicide attempt Somerton mentions about a minute prior. This also strips Anthy of what little agency she has throughout the story, usually exerted through messing with Utena or Nanami. (The fact that she repeatedly makes choices that contribute to her own abuse is, in my opinion, one of the most interesting parts of her character, and it's a shame that Summerton’s ‘reading’ of the story completely disregards that)

Additionally, he once again reads Utena ‘urging Anthy to think for herself” in the first arc as an unambiguously good move, and not as something critiqued in the show.

14:52 Summerton reads the Swords of hatred as symbolizing men’s hatred specifically. Again, I’m trying not to completely disregard differing interpretations to a show like Utena, but this feels very simplistic, especially considering the harm we see aimed towards Anthy by other women

16:42 Here he claims that his reading of the story seems to be “vastly different” from the bulk of Utena discourse. What is this reading? That the show shouldn’t be read literally. Or, in his words, “[we can interpret] Revolutionary Girl Utena as a deeply allegorical and symbolic story about the struggles of coming of age amidst widespread institutional corruption in a high school and which describes a passive culture of inaction in regard to brazen instances of domestic exploitation in which there is not only a question about the caporeality of the events transpiring but also which events can be taken for granted and which events are meant to signify abstract sociological institutions.” The idea that he believes this is in any way a new reading of the material honestly baffles me.

Part 3: Part 2

17:48 through 18:50 differently quotes the Wikipedia article for postmodernism. He even makes a joke at 17:55 about Wikipedia. Please kill me. 

The first three themes he lists at 19:11 are just the three main themes listed on the Revolutionary Girl Utena Wikipedia page. What was that about a “vastly different” reading, James?

You’re gonna have to take my word for it, but this section is so short because it's just him talking about the various ways the story can’t be taken literally. He does, ironically, call this a hot take.

Part 4: Part 3

Here’s where the reading falls apart folks

At 23:15, he states that some things in Utena are allegorically coded, while others are to be taken literally. This is true. However, he seems to take this to mean that some parts of the show are Strictly Literal, while others are Strictly Allegorical for things going on in the Literal World. 

This is apparently why he prefers the Anime to the Movie, where there basically is no separation between the Literal and Allegorical

This take is bizarre to me for several reasons, but here is my favorite. At several points, he mentions how Revolutionary Girl Utena is a work of Magical Realism. Magical Realism is literally defined by its blending of the “literal” and “allegorical”, the mix of fantastical elements in a mundane, realistic setting. This idea of the impossibility of a blurred line, that Utena must either have lore where the magic is all real and means nothing, or dedicated allegory segments quarantined from the rest of the story, is contrary to the very idea of Magical Realism.

I can’t help but wonder if Somerton took his mentions of Magical realism from a previous work, due to how little it is consistent with his final argument. Either way, this section suggests a great lack of creativity in his analysis, a shame for such a creative work.

24:36: Shiori slander, for those who care

After this he gets really worked up about people assuming symbolism in everything, even when the author ‘doesn’t make it clear something is symbolic’. He shuts down a reading of a shot in the Lord of the Rings. Miley Cyrus is there? Very The Curtains Were Blue of him. 

28:22 Claims that Wakaba is the key to telling where the Strictly Literal segments end and the Strictly Allegorical segments begin. He states that, under this lens, deeply personal moments of character suffering such as all of the sexual abuse and Anthy’s suicide attempt (which he literally cites) should be read as symbolic and be “approached with uncertainty rather than confusion”. (28:24-29:13)

This also somewhat falls apart when you consider Wakaba is the jeep in the movie's car chase

And then he rants about people not liking his Attack on Titan video for a bit. Since its potential symbolism also doesn't follow hard enough rules to be symbolism. Once again, the separation of “fact vs allegory” I haven’t watched AOT, so that's all I’ll say.

Part 5: Part 4

Thank god this part is short. Much like Dios’ on-screen presence.

32:55 Makes the extremely bold claim that Dios is not Akio. As in, never even became Akio. because Dios is Strictly Allegorical.

Just to be a pedant, this is pretty explicitly disproven in the show

Confusingly, both earlier and later he will address these two as the same character. 

33:04 he also explains the root of Akio’s name in a tone that suggests this is supplemental information and not like. Literally something he explains out loud in the show?

Part 6: Part 5

This section is nearly entirely about Akio Ohtori. I would like to note that him and Dios are the only characters with dedicated segments.

38:30 The part where he states that Dios gets his powers from deflowering women.

38:46 Claims, once again, that Akio’s abuse of Anthy “may not be literal”. 

38:59 “the instance of exploitation here is used because assault has deep roots as indicating that akio's gender is the source of his imbalance”  THE ASSAULT IS ABOUT AKIO NOW???

39:45 Bad Anthy take #2: “Anthy’s conformity to the Rose bride is based around the fact that she feels good being subservient because this is the only thing in her life that has ever brought her any kind of positive reward”. This is a direct quote. Anyway, I can’t think of any instances in the show where Anthy’s subservience gives her a positive reward, except maybe when she’s intentionally using it to manipulate others. As for her feeling good being the rose bride. She tries to commit suicide. Dude.

Side tangent, but isn’t this exactly what Akio says during the final 2 episodes? That Anthy enjoys being a witch? Is the main villain, who consistently says things during that very episode that are blatantly false, our source of information for this take? I guess so, since this is the dedicated Akio section.

At 40:20 he decides to introduce the concept of Anthy, Akio, and Utena as stand-ins for wider concepts, which is antithetical to his approach in analysis beforehand

Part 7: Part 6

42:40 he finally acknowledges that he’s been spending too much time talking about Akio, and literally no time on characters like Nanami

46:10 states that Utena’s exclusive motivation “is to protect Anthy from the predatorial intentions of the other dualists”, which disregards the fact, which she states herself, that she was largely participating in the duels and protecting Anthy to feel like a prince

48:04 The part where he says that Akio has ‘chaotic Bi vibes’ in regards to him sleeping with Touga, who is 17 and implied to be a long-term victim

Part 8: Part 7

54:01: His concluding point is that Utena was the real prince all along. 

In true Somerton fashion, the video then ends over a scrolling wall of patrons, with not a single citation in sight.

[eternallyhauntingthehouseoflove]

Hey there👋👋 could you please do whatever love language of the bamboos are ??

LOVE LANGUAGE OF THE BATBOYS

A/N: terribly sorry I let this request collect dust. My interest in comics fell as life got hectic and whatever the hell. I won't go all Wattpad author on you.

Dick Grayson’s love language is words of affirmation. At the peak of his characterization, he is a man ravenous for praise and attention. A moment of peace, of relief, of sweetness.

Stunted, yet too grown for his own good—simultaneously. He will seek attention, showering you with gifts and compliments in hopes that you reciprocate. Holidays would read like a HallMark movie that would move suburban mothers to tears.

Dick is also the man to send romantic quotes stolen from Pinterest, and the occasional confusing poem of his own hand. His nerves would grind as he read the ‘’seen’’ stamp beneath his text, worried out of his mind that it didn't properly convey his emotions, his love.

“What, no reply yet? If you're that moved, you could always come kiss me.” He'd send the message, playing it off as a joke. But his stomach groaned with the familiar ache, that cold and empty feeling of uncertainty.

What if she doesn't like it? Will she still like me? Would I seem lame if I double texted? Am I bugging her?

The flames of self doubt would spread and eat at his mind until his phone pinged with a,” it's beautiful, babe. A hard read, but the intention was there.” And a flirtatious emoji paired with it.

Thus, the flames of doubt were stomped out, like they never existed. They liked the poem, and he would spend hours rereading it. Marveling and gushing because you liked it. Something he made.

Jason Todd's love language is acts of service. It's a loyalty thing for him.

Gift sharing could be manipulation; soft words could be lies, and he's too self-loathing to believe them anyway. Red Hood swallows his spare time, and his desire for touch swung on a pendulum—one side thirsting for it, the other side uncomfortable.

The thought of returning home to a nice and warm meal would make him melt into a puddle. Or finding his hero suit washed, and his gear cleaned and stored away.

It reignites a flame in his cold eyes, the domesticity calling forth an unclassified emotion that sent goosebumps blazing over his skin like wildfire, calling his arm hairs to attention.

Jason would return the favor. You would awake to find breakfast made, the aroma of bacon and eggs thick in the air, the sweetness of syrup carrying around the house. Scalding tea trickling into a pot, milk and sugar already on the table. Plates washed and set.

Jason would also do laundry and iron clothes. He gets those random bursts of energy (or adrenaline) and cleans the entire house spotless.

Baths would be drawn for you, and if he's feeling lavish, he'll add roses to the bubbles. The finest soaps would lather your skin, scented with the the best smelling perfumes—business was good, and it was a present. His calloused fingers would be overjoyed to massage your scalp (he hoped you'd do his next).

Tim Drake’s love language is quality time. Also, I would like to preface this section by admitting I haven't read much of Tim.

He would help you study. Textbooks adorning the wooden table after hours of quizzing. Coffee steaming in a mug, pens and highlighters scratching at paper. Kisses shared with each right answer.

He'd tease,” Oh, that was a hard one. A trick question.” A smirk, sweet as frosting would tug on his lips, then a warm kiss would swallow yours.” If I were as filthy minded as Jason, maybe I'd crack a joke.”

Tim’s gaze would find you, in the middle of whatever—washing dishes, doing laundry, exercising. They'd burst with amorous passion, like exploding stars, shimmering and twinkling in his irises.

When the sun kisses Gotham goodnight, and the moon assumes it duty, he'd find himself wishing he could be beside you. Not Batman, not Dick, certainly not Damian. That's not proof that he hates his colleagues or that his work is last on the list of priorities. It's just. . . you're higher.

“Hey, love,” he'd speak into the phone, after the voicemail prompted him.” I know you're likely sleep tonight. But I wanted to at least call and tell you to sleep safe and warm. And to save space for me.” A chuckle would roll of his tongue, the wailing of police sirens in the background.

Damian Wayne's love language is also quality time.

Time is precious to him. His mother’s presence was unreliable. He, his father, his siblings tango with dead every silvery night. Each misfortune in his family reminded him of that.

Robin is not what Dick thinks. It's not just bursting into hideouts and knocking the crap out of villains. The peril is real, as well as the potential for failure—and failure in their line of work means death.

Oracle was paralyzed in a second, one wrong move and her nerves were shot. Jason’s life was quite literally put on a clock, killed by time itself. When Damian was an assassin, it merely took seconds to end a life, one of emotion and desires and opinions—gone at the stroke of a blade.

Time matters.

Damian would try to spend all of it with you, doing anything. Attending museums, painting you, listening to your playlists. Finding the child he was depraved of for so long. Being an angsty teenager and loving it.

“This is considered fun?” A dark eyebrow of his would raise teasingly. There you sat, at a sport's game, the roaring crowd trembling the stadium and stabbing his ears. The golden beam of the sun roasting both you, and the overpriced popcorn tossing and gurgling in his stomach.

But, deep down, the liveliness of the crowd intrigued him. Even he'd find himself screaming along with the masses on their feet, yelling out praise or curse words.

Damian's jade irises would slide over to you, the sheer glee decorating your features. A painting. He'd see a masterpiece in you; how that expression would translate onto a canvas.

[the---hermit]

05|06|2024

New day new struggles working on this history paper. I cannot stress enough how stressed I am about how bad the new research interface of my uni is, I feel like ever since they did the big update it's super complicated to get results that have to do with what you are looking for and that are accessible too. Moreover no one cares about this topic because I genuinely cannot find anything. I have found a couple of articles to help me with context but not much. By the end of the week I plan on finishing reading and highlighting what resources I have found and then I'll see what I can make of them, and get back to the professor. I am procrastinating emailing her back because I have no idea what to say tbh. My English lit review on the other hand is going pretty well, and reviewing in the afternoons seems to be a good plan. Since I am a bit more tired having to review out loud helps me with staying focused, and I also don't have to read historical sources all day, or else I'd lose my mind. This afternoon I struggled to stay focused anyway, but at least I got some stuff done, if I had to continue my history research I wouldn't have done anything probably. My brain is just very very tired again.

Today's productivity:

started my morning with an audiobook

more struggling looking for historical sources (I found a couple more but I am keeping those for the very end because they are once again not 100% relevant to what I have to do)

read and highlighted quite a few sources I downloaded at the beginning of the week (a couple were more or less useful a couple were a waste of time, but maybe I'll quote a couple of context details in the end, who knows. At the moment I only need to read two more and then I am done with my first round of secondary sources, but one of those might get deleated because I'm pretty sure is totally useless)

got to practice my French because of a couple of said historical sources, and wrote down the new words I learned today (surprisingly my understaning is better than I expected giving that I have not used my French in years, I should really get back to it more seriously)

continued my first outloud review of all my English lit materials (today I started working on the Shakespeare part, it will take a couple of days to finish it, especially bc today I didn't do as much as I had hoped)

wrote a little summary of a couple of sentences for all the scenes of The Merchant Of Venice in order to review it without having to reread it for the fourth time

[chamerionwrites]

About Andor s2 I’ve got two questions. How’d you like the bit from Lonnie’s meeting to Kleia’s extraction bit, how’d it measure up to your le Carre fan standards? It felt like it did but to my shame I’ve never read him so uh. Can’t comment

And secondly I just rewatched Rogue One and yeah I got to say. Andor’s better, little things like the extra’s dialogue and bigger things. It all links up very nicely but I’m definitely showing people in release order if I get the chance. I ADORE your analysis of Draven as a man whose doom is his own haste, I feel like the comm the team send en route to Eadu. Direct quote is “weapon confirmed. Jedha destroyed. Mission target located on Eadu, please advise.” There was intel here that there was hm. A bit of target fixation.

I feel like continuing to pursue the Galen assassination plan (morally questionable but militarily sensible plan earlier down the pipeline) is something that should’ve been reevaluated in the light of “Jedha destroyed” when you’re worrying about a planet-killing weapon. Is that already operational? Is killing Galen Erso the best way to stall it still? I get what you mean about he goes too fast and can’t call off the squadron but he could’ve called off Andor after that communication. I also see that I’m nitpicking a stupidly minor word choice in a stupidly stupid movie. And I’m reiterating what you said.

I have no trouble saying that at its best Andor is polished in a way that Rogue One (and frankly the majority of the franchise) never attains. It has a very strong script (especially in S1), consistently high production values (the costumes and sound design are highlights for me), and a keen eye for worldbuilding detail that adds a lot of texture and truth to the storytelling and that happens to be kind of a personal dream come true in terms of what I want in my Star Wars. I do also think Andor has some very real and at times glaring flaws that are worth discussing as such, and that it holds together a lot better in a vacuum than it does as a prequel (which one could argue is a pretty fundamental flaw in, yknow, a prequel).

I'd also never argue that Rogue One is a movie without flaws. I even think it's entirely possible that some of what's good about it is a bit of a happy accident! The script gets both kinda mushy and kinda rushed in Act II (specifically some of the Eadu stuff, including some of what you've mentioned here); I think Jyn's character arc in particular really needs at least one more scene after her argument with Cassian but before the council meeting on Yavin. The CG on Tarkin and Leia is unquestionably not quite there. The performances are not only very good but very good across the board imo - which is lucky because I think they're carrying the lion's share of the story by comparison to the script. However I do also think that the film has a very satisfying thematic cohesiveness (high on the list of things I look for in a good story), that the character sketches are quick but strong, that it's gorgeously shot and that it deserves credit for introducing some really fresh and interesting ideas into Star Wars that Andor then had further space to expand upon (and sometimes beautifully but only sporadically did so, which is one of my Andor critiques).

So - yeah it's better is a case you can make, and depending on what elements you're focused on I might even agree with you. But ultimately I don't find that kind of absolute (and to a certain extent subjective) statement nearly as interesting or useful as discussions about exactly how and where one thing is better than another (or isn't). ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Anyway. Re whether Arc 4 is le Carré-esque: I think the vibes are absolutely there (and tasty as hell to me personally), but Andor really doesn't have room at that point to properly Do The Thing. Specifically, imo we actually pick up pretty near the end of the le Carré version of this story, which is FAR more focused on the exact cat-and-mouse process by which (1) Lonni stole Dedra's code cert and followed the paper trail to the Death Star and (2) Dedra followed Luthen's trail back to the antique shop. Likewise, a le Carré story would spend at least as much time on the nerve-wracking details of how exactly Cassian & Co manage to land their ship on Coruscant without flagging any suspicion as it would on a firefight in a hallway. And no self-respecting le Carré story would be even a tenth as fuzzy on the precise political/ideological fault lines between Luthen and the Alliance - or between the various members of the Alliance - and how those frictions play into the Kleya extraction situation. Those aren't necessarily complaints - just a compare and contrast! In its focus on process and logistics and bureaucracy, in the way it spends most of its time setting up dominoes before exploding into action, and in its preoccupation with trust & betrayal, I think Mon's extraction from the Senate actually follows the trademark le Carré beats more closely.

Finally, re Draven and the Eadu clusterfuck: you have to keep in mind that the man is working with extremely limited information. He makes a bad call - and I think it's pretty clear Cassian knows it's a bad call, and that this factors into his moral anguish about the assassination and ultimately his decision not to go through with it - but Draven is working off whispers and imaginings and blips on a radio, in a universe where communication technology is vastly more limited than in ours. (Honestly all the clicky clunky tactile radio porn and focus on how the comms work - and don't! - was one of the things I absolutely lived for in Andor. And even so, at times I think they're really pushing at the edges of what's previously been implied about the setting; Cass & Wilmon's earpieces on Ghorman for example are awfully clean and modern and small.)

All that said, post-Jedha-destroyed-message is absolutely the point at which Draven - THE INTEL GUY - should've said okay I'm flying blind and I need more intel. That he doesn't is pretty clearly a fuckup, and portrayed as such. But I don't find it unrealistic for human beings under pressure to fuck up that way, or even necessarily surprising to the point that it requires an explanation for the plot beat to work. It would definitely be stronger if we got a bit more character insight on Draven, or a bit more plot structure to really drive home the time crunch, or even a bit more clarifying dialogue - but the simplest explanation is just that Draven has no particular reason to trust Galen as an ally. Going by the information he's working with, the guy is (1) an Imperial weapons developer (2) who's already built something very dangerous, (3) may build more weapons, and (4) maybe if the Force is smiling on them plays an important role in maintaining that first weapon's functionality??? And also Draven appears to be highkey stressed and a little trigger happy. And also he didn't send an extraction team, he sent an assassin. Smuggling one guy out of a top secret military facility alive on the chance he'll willingly share info with you is a WHOLE different level of manpower and precision planning than putting a laser bolt through his brain. Draven knows that Galen is on Eadu now, but not that he'll stay there; he doesn't have an extraction team on the ground or the prior planning & recon required to pull off that extraction without getting a bunch of his people killed; he DOES have a reliable agent on the ground who's reliably good with a sniper rifle. So between the pretty-sure-thing murder right now and the very-hypothetical extraction sometime in the future...Draven picks the sure thing.

The story is open enough that you can headcanon all kinds of motives/emotions/plot obstacles into the empty spaces there, but I think ultimately it still all comes down to those urgency blinders you referenced.

[lucky-clover-gazette]

captive prince book 1 highlights & annotations

chapter 9

indented text is from the book. some quotes have commentary, some do not. some comments are serious, and some are definitely not. most of them will only make sense to people who have read the series. and, like, there are spoilers. so please read the books first if you're interested!

also: part of the reason i'm doing such a close reading is to study cs pacat's style, especially in terms of how she does romance and erotica. there are "craft notes" that might seem weird, like i'm being redundant or restating something rather than analyzing, but those are more things that i want to remember/take away from the writing!

i'm going to tag these longer posts with "sam reads capri" in case anyone wants to read them all at once.

this is a google doc i wrote with overall content warnings for the captive prince series. it's not perfect, but i do think it's important to include.

He dredged up all the knowledge he had regarding the treatment of slaves. Some of the questions he was asked he had no idea how to answer.

context: damen really doesn’t know much about slaves, except what he’s been shown. 

craft note: indicates unreliable narration of the topic

Just for a moment he remembered Torveld making love to Laurent on the balcony, but the hair was a shade too dark, and curled.

hey what the fuck? “making love,” that’s definitely a choice of words. they were just standing there. laurent pretty much outright told damen he wasn't having fun. if i didn't know any better, i'd almost say that damen is jea—

Laurent was too close to guessing the truth already.

oh baby girl you never stood a chance

‘I’m looking forward to a renewed relationship with Vere, after his ascension.’ Because he’s bewitched you, Damen thought. Because you’re moonstruck and you have no idea of his nature.

“unlike me, who knows his nature, and is still into him anyway”

Considering Nicaise’s loyalties, it was strange that Laurent had seemed drawn to him—had seemed even oddly to like him—but who knew what went on in that maze of a mind?

you’ll figure it out when you re-read, damen

Laurent’s fussy horse began acting out again, and he leaned forward in the saddle, murmuring something as he stroked her neck in an uncharacteristically gentle gesture to quiet her. 

horse girl laurent <3

It was wasteful of nature to have bestowed those looks on one whose character was so unpleasant. Laurent’s fair skin and blue eyes were a combination that was rare in Patras, rarer in Akielos, and a particular weakness of Damen’s. The golden hair made it worse.

damen likes blondes #5. very specifically about laurent, with extra appreciation for his other features!

‘He’s even nicer in person. Did you know he came and talked to me?’ said Erasmus. ‘—He did?’ said Damen. It was something he couldn’t imagine. ‘He asked about . . . what happened in the gardens. Then he warned me. About last night.’ ‘He warned you,’ said Damen. ‘He said that Nicaise would make me perform before the court and it would be awful, but that if I was brave, something good might come at the end of it.’ Erasmus looked up at Damen curiously. ‘Why do you look surprised?’ ‘I don’t know. I shouldn’t be. He likes to plan things in advance,’ said Damen.

YAY LAURENT!

‘I have a kind master,’ said Damen. He did pretty well in getting the words out, all things considered.

he soooo doesn’t want to admit that laurent did a decent thing

‘You’re—in love with him?’  ‘Not quite,’ said Damen.

not yet

‘there is no honour in obedience’

piece of an important series theme, especially related to the institution of slavery and the conflation of sex and power. follow this thread.

‘Yes. That is—I . . . I will be a little frightened, but so obedient,’ said Erasmus. And blushed again.

erasmus and torveld are an interesting foil to damen and laurent. erasmus is happily obedient to torveld, and torveld is going out of his way to be considerate and kind to a person/possession who knows nothing but obedience. damen and laurent, meanwhile, refuse to profess or accept obedience respectively, and they are neither considerate nor kind to each other. but in this most recent episode, they’ve recognized the honorable traits they share through their interactions with others, and have unintentionally laid the groundwork for mutual respect.

through getting to know laurent, damen is figuring out that niceness is not necessarily a sign of goodness. he can’t trust people just because they seem good, or because he wants to believe that they’re good (like the regent and kastor). combine this misplaced trust with laurent’s cruelty towards damen (which he believes is impersonal, even though we know it’s because damen killed laurent’s brother), and it makes sense why he can’t see what’s right in front of him: 

laurent is somehow the most morally decent person with any kind of authority in this court, and he’s a total cast-iron bitch about it.

He was the one had to stick a sword through the mare’s throat and put her down. The Prince tore strips off him for not doing it fast enough.

another little “laurent is a good person, just not in the obvious way” hint — mercy killing

‘Something to say?’ said Laurent. ‘I heard you killed your horse.’ ‘It’s just a horse,’ said Laurent. ‘I’ll have my uncle buy me a new one.’ These words seemed savagely to amuse him; there was a jagged, private edge to his voice.

sometimes life sucks so bad you just have to laugh. damen sees the comment as aloofness and cruelty, but i think laurent is just coping.

‘The Prince doesn’t want me to fuck him,’ said Damen.

it’s interesting that damen both knows and verbalizes this. he says himself that he doesn’t understand laurent, but he also is certain that laurent doesn’t want to use him as kastor intended. is it an insult or compliment to laurent? neither? both? or is it just an impulsive response, since this has been implied so many times before?

[sunrise-otr]

More on David Hume

Since the announcement, David Hume's works have been on my mind. I don't claim to be like a scholar or anything, but I thought I'd share some of the online resources I read (I literally looked at my local library too lmao)

DavidHume.org: https://davidhume.org/

"Afterall.net" (?): https://afterall.net/quotes/david-hume-on-submission-to-government/

THIS is what Sunrise on the Reaping is supposed to explore. And I think we will see that through Haymitch and the characters around him, how easily a 'revolution' can fail in the face of force and the sway of public opinion (through the use of media and "the narrative").

^Same quote different source.

"Thegreatthinkgers.org": https://thegreatthinkers.org/hume/

^Same quote but with an added sentence, different source:

"OLLlibertyfund.org": https://oll.libertyfund.org/quotes/david-hume-ponders-why-the-many-can-be-governed-so-easily-by-the-few-and-concludes-that-both-force-and-opinion-play-a-role-1777

"Why people obey." That is such a huge thing and I think Suzanne Collins was so right in focusing on this subject. "Why people obey." What pushes a people to put up with oppression, how far does the oppressive state get to go before there will be pushback?

Ohoho I am so interested in this, it makes my brain light up.

From "Davidhume.org," "Essay IV. Of the First Principles of Government." https://davidhume.org/texts/empl1/fp

This is the good stuff.

"Upon these three opinions, therefore, of public interest, of right to power, and of right to property, are all governments founded, and all authority of the few over the many. There are indeed other principles, which add force to these, and determine, limit, or alter their operation; such as self-interest, fear, and affection: But still we may assert, that these other principles can have no influence alone, but suppose the antecedent influence of those opinions above-mentioned. They are, therefore, to be esteemed the secondary, not the original principles of government."

I thought this paragraph was interesting especially, considering what he classifies as the original principles of government and what he considers secondary.

I also think his work on Human Nature was interesting, though I have to admit I have not read ALL of his texts. That being said, I'd recommend checking David Hume out!!!

Regardless of the connection to Sunrise on the Reaping, I think David Hume's works are worth a read.

Okay I'm updating/adding onto this before posting: As much as I'd recommend reading his actual texts (which can be found at Davidhume.org), you can also look into summaries before Sunrise on the Reaping comes out if you want to get a more palatable version.

There's wikipedia, which I think is actually probably the best place to get a general idea of some highlights. Wikipedia link to the page on David Hume: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Hume

From David Hume's page, you can click the hyperlinks on the page to go to other related topics. Seems like common internet knowledge, but you can literally just go down a David Hume rabbithole from his dedicated Wikipedia page.

Personal notes for anyone reading this far: I partially wish I had done more work and taken more notes on his stuff, though I don't regret the level of knowledge that I'm currently at. I'm looking forward to learning more, especially from others online. I won't lie, I have this aversion to looking at peoples' opinions/analysis on things until I've done "sufficient research" on my own (girl u r not a scholar). I had to take a break when it came to actually trying to read Hume's original texts, which led way for the wikipedia idea (going back to my roots)

I'm also gonna be so for real and admit that some of his stuff is way beyond my understanding at this point. Like I understand the general points, but some of it is a little freaky, melts my mind a bit.

Anyway, one last thank you to Suzanne Collins for prompting this entire journey into learning more about David Hume. I cannot wait to see how some of his concepts are explored in "Sunrise on the Reaping."

Finally posting this since we are so close to SotR being released and unfortunately I do not have much more to add!

[victoriaspriing]

2023 writing gif-making round up

Rules (adapted for fic, gifs, art, etc.): Share what you made this year! It can be works you posted to Ao3, Wattpad, Tumblr, or anywhere else! You can share everything you made or just the projects you're most excited about.

I was tagged by @swearphil! thank you sm renee <33

Hii!! so 2024 is right around the corner, happy new year yayay. Actually, if I think too much about it I think I'll start crying cause like what do you mean we're less than 42 hours from staring a new year?!! 2023 doesn't feel real tbh time in general doesn't feel real but yeah anyways I'll save that convo for another time. I'm here today to reflect on all the gifsets I've made throughout this year, which let me add, has been A LOT. I'm going to start by sharing some fun stats (yes renee I'm copying you <33), and then I'll do a fun top 5 of my fave gifsets, and to finish it off I'd also like to use this to shout out some of my fave people and creators on this hellsite cause you all made my 2023 so much better and I love you all for that <333

fun statistics:

In total I made 61 gifsets in 2023

57 are heartstopper (not surprised)

3 are 911 lone star (mostly tarlos)

1 are dan and phil

In august I made 20 gifsets, which are the most gifsets I've made in a month this year

In may I made 1 gifset, which is the month I made less gifsets this year

6 of the gifsets are song lyrics edits

3 of the gifsets are heartstopper comic edits

31 of the gifsets are scenes from heartstopper

6 of the gifsets are heartstopper compilations from s1 and s2

top 5 gifsets from 2023 (in no particular order)

that one dnp gifset: I think most people know that I was and still am a big dan and phil fan, and that I spent most of my teenage years obsessing over them and giffing them and only them. Well, they went on hiatus and they stopped having a big impact on my life util they decided to come back and ruin my life again (in a good way). This gifset was the first time I giffed them since like idk 2019/2020, and it does mean a lot to me :') it's not really about the concept and the coloring, I chose this one to be apart of my top 5 for sentimental reasons, and I think that's valid.

give your friendships the magic you would give a romance: once again, sentimental reasons. when I read this quote on loveless it just spoke to me in so many levels. One of the things I love the most about heartstopper is the importance they give to friendship and I just had to make something that highlighted that and I think it turned out super good.

I think nellie loves him: well, now I think I snapped with this one akdhjahak I just love it so much. the coloring.. the heartstopper tv scenes with the heartstopper comic scenes, like chef's kiss, just perfect. of course this is not an original idea so I'd love to thank @rose-nobles for inspiring this gifset <33

mr. ajayi loves museum dates with his grumpy bf: and just like that we are back to sentimental reasons ahdhkas. well, this was one of the first gifsets I made when season two came out and it blew up. I've never had that many notes on a gifset, and honestly I think it's well deserved cause the coloring is good and I had finally just figured out how to sharpen gifs, so yeah love that for me.

I'm bi actually: I had so much fun making this one. the amount of bi coded elements and colors I included on this, I WAS ON A MISSION. the fact I made the font wobbly hsjgdjaka, I love love this gifset.

a little shout out to my faves (I hope you all have an amazing 2024)

@swearphil ☆ @barrowsteeth ☆ @narliee ☆ @cafecdramin ☆ @heroeddiemunson ☆ @nelsonnicholas ☆ @curlyhairedprince ☆ @wylanvannecks ☆ @aimeegbbs ☆ @indimlights ☆ @jelloandsugar ☆ @perrieedwards ☆ @imogen-heaney ☆ @thatwasthenightthingschanged ☆ @klinejack ☆ @birthdaysentiment ☆ @seeleybooth ☆ @sonseulsoleil ☆ @taraolssons ☆ @immortals-malec ☆ @parissquads ☆ @rose-nobles ☆ @itwasmagic ☆ @perccyjackson ☆ @naomismcpherson ☆ @neverfindmegone ☆ @charlieisverybored

Okay I think that's it, I'm so sorry if I missed someone. I'm also tagging everyone that wants to do this, just say I tagged you in it <33

[onekisstotakewithme]

I'd love to hear your top 5 (or top 10 if you wish) CJ episodes and why? Whether she's the main focus or you just love her sideplot.

I think I'll do top 10 episodes? because I love this woman so much she is everything to me. I want to wrap her in bubble wrap and give her 10 years of vacation time for every time a man says dumb shit to her. (I do love that she actually has very human flaws and things she fucks up but like. ough.) ANYWAY. It's so hard to decide what constitutes an episode where I just love what CJ is doing?? Idk. (usual "this is not in ranked order and it's not comprehensive" disclaimer)

Take Out the Trash Day. Yes, the whole episode. This just encompasses everything CJ is as a character (to me). The staunch moral compass and conviction of her beliefs (with the Lydells), speaking truth to power (admonishing Jed about the sex ed report), her relationship with the press and Danny (and ugh her relationship with Danny in this one, but also the press briefings!)!!

Galileo. And it's not even about the "good in bed" plot. Every time I watch that final scene with her and Jed, where she says "it's about going to the blackboard and raising your hand"? Pure poetry. Nothing but respect for my President! (But also the "I'm great in bed" was legendary.)

Ways and Means. You know, we hear a lot about how CJ is really good at her job, and we do see it in subtler ways, but W&M is one of those episodes where we see her actually being a professional political operative. The way she maneuvers Congress into doing what she wants through the use of the press is pretty incredible!

Internal Displacement/Institutional Memory/Requiem. So. It's v painful to me watching season 7 because baby girl is having a REAL rough time of it all season, but through the gentle patience of Danny, she gets to slowly become closer to herself again. (The giddiness in her office in Requiem when she's talking to Danny is some of the happiest we see her look all season). I'm not picking just one, just know I love this whole mini-arc. Also she gets her much-deserved happy ending, as well she should.

Night Five. Does anyone else remember back when CJ's love for her press room was absolute? I do. Technically the highlight of this episode is what Donna says about CJ -> how she fights with them every day, but she loves the press, but it's shown in the plot itself as she lobbies to get one of her reporters free from hostile forces.

The Stackhouse Filibuster. I love that CJ gets the "dear dad" framing of the episode, plus like even with the cat goddess, this whole episode just means a lot to me. CJ loves her dad like. a lot 🥺

Either In The Shadow of Two Gunmen Part II or Enemies Foreign and Domestic. I'm a reformed NCIS fangirl so of course I'm a sucker for the whole Simon Donovan arc, but none of that would be possible without CJ's speech at the beginning -> it's everything Women of Qumar wanted to do, but better. I've lumped it in with Gunmen because of her speech on gun violence at the end. To quote Danny... "she's good." YEAH SHE IS BABES.

Faith-Based Initiatives. Brad makes up for this when he writes Internal Displacement but I'm like 🔪 get a job, stay away from her!! about this one. That being said, the way she confides in Leo about how her work has always come first... but how her very independence that men love is also what scares them away, and just ahhhh. Nothing encapsulates CJ's commitment to the job quite like this for me 👌🏻

The arc that runs from Han through to Disaster Relief. I call it her disillusionment/speaking truth to power arc, because that's what it's about. CJ repeatedly standing up on behalf of what's right, or on behalf of what the public deserves to know, even when her superiors disagree with her. It's incredible. Kissing her on the forehead.

Evidence of Things Not Seen. Remember when even though everyone else is telling her not to expect things to work out (the egg balancing) and she says she has faith in it, and faith in the staff? 🥺 yeah. yeah.

[speakyskelly-1999]

keanu

keanu

keanu

eveyones favorite guy

look at him

he vibing

so my friends and i decided to watch all of (some of lets be real) keanu's filmogoraphy

and it's been a blast

basically one of my friends just really wanted to watchh all 4 matix's and i said i would if we went through all his films

i'm normal okay

i just really wanted an excuse to watch speed, my favorite keanu film

(okay the fact that i like know the timestamp that gif is taking from shows i'm very normal)

so any way

...

errr

fuck

ye

we've watched about half of them now

and like i could wait till we've finished all of them to talk about them#

but i won't

cos i won't remember all of them

so without further ado

keanu movies we've watched so far

(formatted like godzilla maybe)

(but not in watch order cos i don't rmember)

(fuck you)

(also i bet i can get a gif for each movie)

bill and ted's exellent adventures:

8/10 very funny, thought they'd have a third act break up but they didn't which was baised. will rewatch again. absolute classic. the nothing behind the eyes with ted was chef's kiss

point break:

oh, oh wow, oh that like ot intense, i wasn't expecting it to get that intence. damn okay. very good movie 8/10 won't be rewatching it any time soon, also johnny gets wet in the water of the sea

(keanu being called some varient of john, getting wet, and being depressed are come comon features of keanu's movies)

(the power point will make this clearer in the future)

bill and ted's bogus journey:

good sequal like 7/10 just cos the first is such a classic and a new idea but it was really well done. gotta love death

bram stoker's dracula:

omg he's depressed, gets wet and is called johnathen, tick. otherwise this films was garbage. he cannot do an enlish accent which was funny and actually enjoyable. keanu's proformence was the only enjoyable part of the movie. 1/10 i'd rather rewatch godzilla final wars and pocahuntus

(realising i havn't geven my disney reviews here it's fine all do that at some point

.... maybe)

Speed:

omg it's my favorite keanu movie. hehehe my friends trust my taste cos of like this movie and legally blonde. hehehe. 10/10 no note. i am bnot bias. okay but in all fairness it is really good and the script is really well thought out. don't watch speed 2 no keanu

johnny mnemonic:

god i could write a whole paragraph about this movie. from the short story written by the father of cyberpunk, to it's buched production, to the actual film, to the japanese cut which was more like what it was supose to be. aaaah. this movie is not good. it's vibes are impecable. ice-T is there. jones the cybernetic dolphin who was recrited by the military and was forcefully adicted to drugs to ensure his loyalty was the fucking highlight. random prest guy who is addicted to tech who is a hit man to fuel is addiction is funny. like critically this movie is a 2/10 but emotionally, but vibes wise, but on a purly primeveil basist, 10/10 movie. watch the japanese cut it makes more sense it's just on youtube

you're welcome

so imma just take a moment and say this, keanu reves movies are hard to find

like the only ones on streaming are johnny mnemonic on amazon prime, the day the earth stood still on disney and speed which is also on disney. oh and spone on the run which is on netflix. like non of the john wicks. only matirx 4 on netflix. it's wild. so shout out to cex and hmv for having the real goods

another side note i can spell mnemonic and cardasian fine and yet i have to quote aritha franklin to spell respect

anyway back to it

the matrix:

yea i should have believed my friends when they said this was the transes movie in existance. i see it. no straights here. only the gays. man this movie was a slay. genuinly no idea why i just haddn't seen it yet. 8/10

the matrix reloaded:

oooh, a ten miniet looney tunes agent smith fight scene. ooooh a 15 motorway fight scene. mmmmh okay. yea the action is fun but maaaaan the plot fucking stalls, 4/10

the matrix revolations:

omg is the plot moving again. omg yay. i really like this one which seems to be like an umpopular oppinion. i dunno. i liked it. i liked it's ending it worked. fuck you. 7/10

the day the earth stood still 2008:

omg, omg is that john ham yay. klaatu my main man was grat. got a jaden smith jumpscare and the girl from lybrinth jumpscare aswell. had a lot of fun. we also watched the 1951 version and personally i prefer that one but stilll thisnmovie was great. 7/10 climate change is a threat and we're the virus

john wick:

yea erm yea you shouldn't have killed that dog man. 8/10

john wick 2:

okay but like it was a slay that she killed herself, real power move. also winston is a real g. 7/10 great pasing

bill and ted face the music:

omg. omg they have louis armstong. omg omg omg. jimi hendrix. motzard. KID CUDI! AAAAH THIS MOVIE WAS MADE FOR ME. also has the girl from I Saw The TV Glow which my friend loved. 7/10 again not as good as the classic but holy shit was this line up of hiistorical people for me

the matric resurrection:

neil partick harris i'll kill you. how do you keep ending up in things i watch. i sware i'll end up watching your entrire filmography by watching other peoples. stop it. you haunt me. i liked this movie a lot. like it deffo helps watching the matrix series almost back to back. good stuff, and all the recasting and stuff was the right call i think. this and face the music have like the same weird vibe to them that i weirdly like. oh and keanu is depressed and get wet. also i love the fact that trinity just punches neil patrick harris mutiple time. i'm not biased and idk why you'd think that :) 6/10

and thats all the keanu films i've watched so far

not gonna lie was wondering about half way though how long a tumblr post can be hehehe

i shall be back once i've watched the remaineding films

and then the power point hehehe

[cruorons]

Writing Process

Okay, so I thought I'd share some of my writing process here considering it is a writing blog after all. Maybe someone will find these useful or give some helpful input considering my process tends to be rather chaotic.

1. Ideas

I don't really sit down with the intention of coming up with an idea for a fic. Most of it comes to me naturally, as I go on about my day and daydream about certain dynamics or lore. However, I've noticed I tend to get inspired by:

• music - I like making playlists for fanfics I haven't even written yet, and then listen to the songs as I write. It helps me shape the plan for how the story is about to go, set the mood, in certain cases even inspire specific scenes.

• personal experiences - I noticed fics like that tend to perform well. People can tell when something is heartfelt. Do not underestimate your readers.

• ships - Already mentioned them, but about to highlight them again. Some people say that ship fics are less than but I couldn't disagree more. I've never been truly in love myself, yet find it such a fascinating thing. I could write about it endlessly from a bunch of different perspectives and never get bored of it.

Maybe it's my brain stopping me, but I never get inspired by fanart, as much as I love looking through the tags on here. Just a fun fact.

Basically, I start off with a single scene in my brain and then, I build off of it.

2. Beginning

When I realize I have something to elaborate on, that's when I boot up Google Docs and open a new document. I used to work in Word instead, but I switched to a different program for convenience. Google Docs crashes less and seems neater.

That's also when I like to think of a name for the fic. I search through synonyms for key words, phrases, famous and niché quotes. I like my titles short and concise, but also symbolic; such as with 'inferno', 'endophagy' and 'dowager'. They have to make sense within the context of the fanfic.

After I find something cool, that's when I make a document called "[fic name] PLAN".

- It's where I start writing down the idea in more detail.

- It's good to elaborate on each scene. A few sentences won't cut it; sometimes in the plan, I even put in actual paragraphs or even dialogue.

- English is not my native language, but I like to write the plan using it anyway. Ironically, it gives my brain more freedom; grammar in English is easier than the one in my native language.

- My plans usually have ~1-2k words.

- If I write a chaptered fic, I try to make a plan document for each chapter. Also, I tend to have the beginning of the story and the ending in my head, but add onto the middle as I go. So, even though I've had the idea for 'endophagy' in my head since 2021, as well as the ending (!), the chapters in between are improv.

3. The fanfic

I try to finish writing the plan in full before moving onto the actual thing, but there are exceptions.

I create a new document called the actual fic's name in another tab and start writing. I check the plan document every now and then, because oftentimes I forget about certain story beats or dialogue I wanted to include. When I finish a paragraph, I mark it in red in the plan, then switch the tab again. It's helpful to see your progress.

Now, a more controversial thing about me is that

I refuse to make multiple drafts

There are writers that make a bunch of drafts. If that works for you, amazing! Personally, it'd drive me insane. The longer I work on a fic, the more I begin to despise it. I don't write for pleasure, I write because I have things boiling in my head and it's the only way to release the tension. A such, I write the entire fic and then read through it once to catch mistakes. Then, I post and forget all about it.

If you've read through everything, congratulations! And thank you. I have found a welcoming community on ao3 and I like it there so, so much.

[missys-mansion-of-mistakes]

July 26th, 2024. Friday.

🌊 Today was good! I got a lot of things done I'd been meaning to do for weeks. I completed:

Looking at a list of programs that apply to my research and the information I'm presenting at the conference in 2 (!!!) weeks. Added it all to the spreadsheet I'm compiling.

Sending in an application to be on an organization's Board of Directors. I got an auto-reject because they got a lot of applications, but that's alright, I put it on my calendar to try again in 6 months.

I drafted the CF scholarship and, on a whim, just submitted it. It was kind've a bad essay but... I just wanted it done. Bad call, and I won't win the scholarship because of it, but that's OK. More writing practice earned and that helps.

Drafted the PC scholarship. This one was WAY hard. Required a brainstorm session with my boyfriend to even figure out what to write about. But I got an outline together, a first draft, and a 2nd draft too. Need to sleep on it though.

In exchange for all the above: skipped all my morning routines except relaxing for an hour. In that hour I wrote a letter to my boyfriend that I'm going to tuck in a book I send him on Monday. There's 2 books he bought when he was here with me that he wanted me to send him, and I'm buying him a copy of a book I think he'll really love too ("Seed to Dust"-- it's an amazing book!) I'm also sending him a sticker of a snail and a frog in a long-distance relationship... it's us!!

So yeah. Very productive with the one-off tasks.

💤 Very tired today. Need to transition fully back onto the looseleaf yerba instead of messing with the canned yerba-- the former of those is more medicinal, the other has like ~150mg caffeine per can. Not good. 💄 So, I was looking at getting myself more makeup/"beauty" supplies because of my new job. Now, I'm a girl who-- until recently-- would consider herself pretty butch. But as I've been trying to get into professionalism more, dressing better at work, etc, I've realized that I get a lot more positive attention when I dress way more femininely. This also plays into the oft-quoted statistic about how women who wear makeup are chosen way more often for promotions/job opportunities/whatever than women who don't. So I figured, since it seems I've finished taking the leap into wearing dresses, now was the time to take the leap into actual makeup.

Now, I have makeup already too. I have these things: foundation, sunscreen, moisturizer, highlighter. That's IT!

So when I mentioned offhandedly several weeks ago that a job in a fancy, rich town wanted to interview me, and I might need to learn makeup, a friend was shocked that I didn't even have a lipstick to speak of.

I ordered this mystery beauty box to fix that. No this isn't an advertisement, I just wanted to share because honestly this fixed my problem elegantly AND made me happy-- win-win!

Everything in the first picture is what I got in the box. 3 lipsticks, 2 eyeshadows, 2 lipliners, 1 eyeliner, 1 undereye highlighter, a bunch of brushes, a ton of spa stuff I'll have to convince myself to use, and more! Now I'll just have to experiment with them lol.

Anyway, yeah, it was pretty and I'm happy.

📦 My parents need help going through boxes in the garage tomorrow. I'll have to drive up home tomorrow morning to help. So, another couple days working on the laptop at their house. Let's see how productive I can be up there...

What has made you happy recently?

Sending happiness your way!!

[Photos: mystery box unpacked, my tie-dye envelope in front of my PC, tie-dye envelope and long-distance snail and frog sticker, mystery box still packaged up.]

[rouge-fauna]

I wanted to ask you, do you have any advise in making meta analisys? I'm interested in making some analysis on the dsmp lore once i finish the lore and start watching the vod closely. But i feel kind of intimidated by seeing how people can be rude to each other when talking about the lore and a bit lost on how to interact with other's analisys. And wanted to know if you have any advise for people who want to start on the meta analysis part of the fandom?

Well, I'd hardly call myself an expert since well... I'm not exactly one of the ogs here and I'm getting the impression there are many people here who don't exactly like what I have to say, but you ask so I'll give you my two cents and hope I don't lead you a stray.

You will probably notice a variety of how people go about their analysis. I wouldn't say there is a right or wrong way, it's not like we are professionals or anything, we are just having fun looking at a story and its elements. Some people take that too seriously, which is unfortunate since at the end of the day we are talking about characters of some Minecraft roleplay series. But it's easy in a writing format to come across the wrong way and make people feel attacked, because there isn't tone or body language and stuff.

Anyways, here are I guess some of the things I keep in mind.

There is a difference in fact and opinion, and just because I see things a certain way doesn't make it fact or the other person wrong, so the way I make sure to highlight this is through statements like - "the way I see it" "in my mind" "in my opinion" "personally I see it as" "I think" "I feel like" "It is interesting to me"... etc phrases to emphasize that this is my opinion, but that is not the end all be all. I also like to include plenty of "perhaps" "maybe" "I don't knows" and legitimate questions in there. I do this to hopefully open it up to say - hey this is how I see it - which hopefully comes across as less as me correcting them but just adding thoughts. One of the things that frustrates me sometimes, is that I see people say things as if they just are facts and true when they aren't necessarily. Something that further frustrates me when no evidence or way for me to see for myself is provided. Which is why I also try to provide, links, clips, quotes and stuff so people don't have to just take my word for it. Not to say I am always great about doing this or that it is always required, there are some things that are just more wildly known so it's not needed to cite everything. My rule of thumb for this is if it's more obscure or not common knowledge, so whether it's word specific, a scene not talked about, an like an academic source (or if I just so happen to have it clipped or written down lol XD). Not that you have to do either of those things of course, it's very much up to you how you want to do it, this is just how I do it because my autism engineer ass likes the facts and the why and how of things. Like if you say 'c!Dream's hair is green' I'm like - okay, that's an opinion, good for you - but if you say 'I think Dream's hair is green and this is why', then I'm a lot more interested in what you have to say, but again that's just me. It is worth noting also, that I'd say don't insult someone's intelligence or person because of something they said about a Minecraft boy at 3am ya know? Try to avoid being derogatory or nasty. You don't have to respect their opinion or agree, but you should respect them as a person, a person with the right to say something on the internet without being bashed because people don't like it. I would say it is better to say I think 'this take is dumb', not 'you are dumb' because of this take (though also probably best to avoid dumb in general as it is kinda derogatory and rude but hopefully you get the gist). It can also be nice to highlight something you agree with or liked that the other person said to make sure you're not being all negative and give them credit when you are agreeing and adding to a statement so they don't think you are correcting them.

Other things I do, to hopefully not come across aggressive is not using all caps or exclamation points - cuz in my mind I'm like why are you yelling at me ya know :( - I prefer italics and bold and sometimes capitalizing words, but that's just how I do it because I noticed that those things make me feel attacked whether or not that person meant it that way. Sometimes people will straight up say they are done, but sometimes it may be is less directly, so in general I'd say if the other person doesn't seem to want to engage further or has conceded in any way, big or small, they are probably done talking about it. When you go past that mark, then they will definitely feel more like they're being attacked (I think this is one of the things I run into with asks as I feel done, but they continue it on (which of course I know why, they may not have gotten to share their points on the matter yet or whatever) and I'm always torn on whether to continue, because I may also just feel tired of talking about it). I'd say also either ask them permission directly or in your response, like sometimes I'll say - "I hope it's okay if I add on" because that person may not want to engage. And if it's about direct statements or arguments, then make sure the other person is made aware, like if I'm responding to tags I try and tag that person. Or if I am building off of what someone said in a different direction I might also tag them, or go to their ask box, go to the comments, or whatever. It doesn't feel good to have people pick apart what you said without being given a chance to defend yourself. Assume the best in people, they may not be trying to be a certain way, and the way you read something may not be the way they meant and I'd say it's always better to ask for clarification then take something the wrong way. (I'd say that genrally about real life too - like if you don't know a word someone is using, ask them to define or clarify, to most people it shows you are actually listening so they are more than happy to explain)

General rule - be respectful and kind, remember to not take things too seriously cuz we are talking about characters after all. We are all here to engage in something we love. <3

Also in regards to analysis and lore, I'd say be aware of bias and context and assumptions, keeping in mind are you looking at something from a character's point of view or an outsider.

[becomingkatie]

I've been trying to post more on my social media accounts for my author "business" (the word kinda feels gross and hustle-y but like... I'm essentially a small publishing company where all the products are books I write, and I have to produce and get them into the world and market them all myself so long as I stay indie/self-pub) so I haven't really had the bandwidth to post here, too.

I haven't had the bandwidth for much, really.

I feel like an old rubber band you find in a drawer and it's brittle instead of elastic so you try to stretch it but it just tears.

Yesterday when getting ready for book club secret santa I realized I'd lost part of my recipient's gift. I was giving her a book she wanted, some highlighters she requested for journaling/art, and a sticker that was holographic and had a quote from a book series I know she loves. And I couldn't find the sticker. I tore apart the room where we're storing presents ahead of the holiday and couldn't find it, so I went to Barnes and Noble on the way to the exchange and got a pretty bookmark in place of the sticker, and everything was okay, but I was in tears on the way there. And I cried two other times in the evening (not about that, just in general).

It feels like on top of all the "normal" stuff (having a job I don't enjoy, house upkeep, life upkeep, just all the normal stuff), I'm up against every single day needing to do stuff for the author business and feeling like I'm absolutely failing there. And failing there means never being able to leave the job I don't enjoy, so it feels like infinite doom looming ahead on top of the daily too-long list of tasks and realities of how many books I've sold vs how many I want to sell.

And the stress and beat-down of feeling like I'm failing at the thing that matters most every single day is just making me a brittle rubber band who has no emotional capacity for the things that just go wrong because things go wrong sometimes.

Anyway I write as Kate Maclean and am more active on socials as katemacleanbooks because I'm really trying to up my persistence and consistency and give myself the best chance of success there.

But I'm also crying a lot and just not in a good spot right now so when I DO post here, it's probably going to be that kind of whining right now, because all my "everything is fine" energy is going on other socials.

[its-all-papaya]

3, 4, 21, and 26!!

-> ask me about my 2024!

3. what's something you learned about yourself as a writer?

so much!!! before publishing anybody, nowhere, i hadn't even tried to write creatively since like... 2020 maybe? so i would say the biggest thing i learned was that i am capable of writing and finishing things. i'd always just written bits and never developed them into full fics because it felt soooo overwhelming. (the trick was, as it turns out, just sitting down and TRYING).

4. what piece of media inspired you the most?

lando's post-silverstone interviews in the media pen. in addition to any number of videos of lando speaking and quotes from lando, etc.

21. share your favorite piece of dialogue.

ahhhhhh i actually despise writing dialogue which i think i've shared with you before eve..... anyway, if we're talking about published works it's (from even if it ends):

“Because I love you,” Oscar corrects softly. It’s an awful thing to say when half the things they do to each other lately end with bitter, insolvable resentment. It comes out like confession, a supplication. There’s a long pause. Oscar’s heart is hammering so hard he’s sure Lando can feel it where their chests are touching. “I know,” Lando finally says from above him. Oscar’s eyes squeeze shut, but he’s got nobody to argue with. It’s nicer than what he’d said himself, when he’d heard the words for the first time months ago, somewhere in Europe, Lando’s hair still sweaty and Oscar’s come drying between his thighs. “I love you, you know?” Lando had said, and, “we shouldn’t,” Oscar had said back, shirt already halfway back over his head.

if we're including wip's, there's like 900 lines of dialogue in dad lando, but all my favorite i THINK is in chapter one, starting with:

“I meant, like, I don’t know you because I’m a fan. I don’t know you.” Lando smacks his hand on the railing, frustrated with the way it’s all coming out when he knows what he wants to say, but Piastri’s fingers shift until the sides of their hands are touching, and he’s still smiling. “It’s okay, mate. I’m not offended.” Lando whines in the back of his throat and turns his forehead back into his arm for a second like it’ll help him collect his thoughts. “I’m friends with Max,” he says eventually, once he’s opened his eyes again. Piastri’s smile edges into something even more amused, “Makes sense why you’re at his birthday party, then.”

26. if you had to choose one, what is THE most satisfying writing moment of your year?

publishing anybody, nowhere. hands down. many times throughout the writing process i was like... i have so much left... idk if i have it in me... but i just kept thinking about how far i'd come and how cool it would feel to have a piece of MY writing out there for everybody to read. and clicking 'post' on ao3 was like... such a highlight of my summer. i've been reading fanfic forever, and to finally like 'give back' and put my own work out there felt so so fantastic.

thank you for the ask bby!!! hope you're having a good holiday break!!!

[arufure]

IJL Day 3 Thoughts

Hi. I'm Kasumi and I am normal about IDV esports. Starting this week I would like to dump my thoughts regarding every IJL match. Why? I don't know. Who is this for? Don't ask. I just need a space to type out my thoughts.

ZETA vs AWG (Winner: ZETA 1-0)

ZETA claims Round 1 in this matchup 7-2 with an amazing 4K from mkmldy. Watching how he was able to guard the ciphers was so impressive, it's really hard to believe that he JUST became a pro because his decisions felt so pro-like... good stuff.

AWG didn't go down without a fight however. Round 2 opens with an amazing 3 escape, starting with a great first kite from Kaeru and a dungeon escape from Nameko's Prospector. I think the most fatal decision was chasing a full magnet Prospector at the endgame... but AWG were able to hide the endgame-weak Barmaid well. BUT THEN. ZETA return the 3 escape, even nearly getting a 4 escape...

The highlight of this match is hands down DoLisu's harassing using Fire Investigator. I call it Ballin. Kznk went to a corner to be downed there after Tide ended, and then DoLisu comes to ball and block brontal's path while carrying Kznk twice, forcing him to break both balls. Kznk is able to struggle free, connecting to a 4 man endgame. Apparently it was improvised on the spot, and Kznk wasn't entirely sure about the exact down position, but they went for it anyways and it worked out so well. This is the first time we've seen this done in IJL, I think it's possibly the most successful example of it across all tournaments too... DoLisu is just so good at doing things the hunter hates. I'm glad we're seeing more of his Fire Investigator in IJL.

But did you know that there was also another more secret super moment from the survivors in Round 3? DoLisu's ~3 cipher kite against yukakina's Geisha was naturally great, but pay attention to Kznk's Aeroplanist rescue. You'll see that he used the Hover, but didn't leave the ground...? And only the knockback effect for the hunter was in effect....???

What did he mean by this?

I'm truly stumped by this. This hasn't even been seen in IVL before. Kznk always discovers new tech with the characters he uses, but this... This is something else.

The 3rd set draws, as AWG's survs don't back down and get a 3 escape against mkmldy's Hermit. AWG is just a very solid team against Hermit overall. Just like Kaeru this game, every member seems to excel in kiting against a Hermit. It's also funny how Nameko's Antiquarian didn't even need to get involved — it was really mostly Kaeru's raw kiting power. AWG may have lost this matchup, but it was a very good fight. I believe they have so much potential as a team, and I'd love to see them win more this season, hopefully not in the last 2 weeks like last season...

FAV vs RC (Winner: FAV 2-0)

KiRye's first day back and he's already first kite man. He did a pretty good job, but that rescue terrorshock did mess up the pace for the survivors. However, RC survs did pull through to a 3 man endgame, although... did they have to force the gate so much at the end...? Detention was over, monoP probably could've taken a hit and fully opened the gate. You could argue that chairing monoP gave enough time for the other gate to open and it would've ended the same either way, so don't quote me on that. Still, I don't see any merits to getting terrorshocked off of gate though...

In the second half, Felix just does a really good kite against Peter's Sangria as Psychologist. It's especially impressive because although she does need an extra hit to down, Psychologist has pretty much zero chase ability so Felix pretty much depended on raw kiting ability alone against a Sangria. Dacho also gets an amazing rescue, and Peter goes to guard Nerisu's cipher but a little too late... he gets downed, but he's Embalmer so he can just self embalm and they can pop with no problem. It ends with a 3 escape which was honestly bordering on a 4 escape if Peter hadn't found Appai. Peter's Sangria is as fast as ever though. Truly one of the best of the pros.

KiRye gets first kite again in Round 2 1st half and this time it doesn't go so well. I just really think Aeroplanist is overall pretty weak to Sangria when he gets chased so there really wasn't much he could do. But then, something amazing happens...

Soba as Lucky Guy pulls both a watch and flare gun. What he does is use the watch where KiRye is downed after Tide ends... at first I was extremely confused, but I thought perhaps maybe it's so he can use the flare gun while he's unable to be seen. But no. It's to buy enough time for KiRye to prime his self heal, THEN Soba hits the gun and wakes KiRye up... sadly the game ends in a 4K (although very close to a dungeon escape) but I was just flabbergasted (in a very good way) at that use of Lucky Guy. Only Reject man. I need to study hhu's mind and know how he comes up with strategies like this.

Aka is only able to get a tie in the second half, which means that FAV wins with a straight victory.

SZ vs ZETA (Winner: SZ 1-1)

Man. As someone who was devastated when MiraiK went back to SZ and considering the intertwined history between the two teams, this matchup turns me into a mess of emotions whenever I watch it.

The match starts with a 3K from mkmldy's Sangria. I feel like this could've definitely been a 4K if it wasn't for gnk being able to buy enough time for Takoyaki to pop the last cipher and open the gate. Embalmer is strong man. I don't get anyone who says he isn't (do those people even exist? Am I strawmanning? Perhaps I am). ZETA survs come in clutch with a solid tie, amazing decision to not force a rescue and pop during Burio's trait CD time even though DoLisu had been chaired. Both FO and Gardener being able to tank a detention hit inside the gate was strong too.

In Round 2, MiraiK gets his first win against the ZETA survs since going back to SZ. If Shinami had been able to bodyblock after rescuing Kznk, things may have turned out differently, but alas he was able to hit Kznk, who didn't have BT... a solid 3K. Maybe it's just me but MiraiK just seemed to read Kznk so well this game. It makes me emotional....

Also, gnk is just on a roll with his kiting this day. He does an amazing 3 cipher kite as Cheerleader, and reminds us of why Cheerleader was considered to be meta against Ivy. mkmldy has no choice but to give up on tunneling and switch to a different strategy of applying pressure to every survivor and chairing anyone he can, but this of course has the downside of not having anyone dead on chair. SZ survivors get a 3 escape, I believe their first of the season.

The points have flipped, and now it's a set battle. Whoever wins the next round wins.

mkmldy shows us his Night Watch in the first half of Round 3 and gets a solid tie. Especially with Insolence Warp, that's around current day Night Watch's limit, so that's probably what he was aiming for. And then, the second half happens.

This was undoubtedly the most entertaining game from this matchup. We got to see the classic ZETA double harasser comp of Kznk's Forward and Hametu's Antiquarian, as well as Shinami's Aeroplanist (ZETA now has 3 Aeroplanist users) and DoLisu on Composer. MiraiK's pick? Naiad, of course. Million Dollar Mermaid too at that. If you know you know, but that skin choice was definitely intentional. DoLisu isn't able to Flywheel the water damage and gets a pretty early down, but with the power of harassment (this sounds bad out of context) they are able to achieve a 4 man endgame. I don't even know if I can describe what happened but to sum it up the survivors wanted that win so effing bad. They very aggressively opened the gate right next to MiraiK and Shinami did NOT give up and went for 4 rescues, nearly travelling to the other side of the map.. This was peak ZETA. It was so fun to watch. When they want to win, they will go RELENTLESSLY for a win. It's truly something special about them.

The set draws, but SZ wins on points. It's their first win of the season, and a well deserved one. I really do want them to make it to playoffs this season. Today was a big step for them, so I'd like to see how they grow from here.

If anyone somehow read through all of this then thanks. I think. I just want to thoughtdump my esports thoughts. If you like IJL then please talk to me and tell me your thoughts.